Bread and circuses, coronavirus edition?
Rome isn't burning... and there's a chicken in every pot?
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A long, long time ago in Ancient Rome pissant emperors used to try to keep the populace calm and placated using “bread and circuses.” Basically, if you were a plebeian, you’d get a bread handout, and then for entertainment you could just pop over to the Circus Maximus for a chariot race or go watch some slaves competitively butcher each other at the Colosseum. Just to be clear, bread and circuses was a policy an emperor instituted if he was is in danger of not being loved by the general populace. It can be interpreted as a leading indicator of the failure of a government or a particular leader.
It looks like everyone in the United States is going to be getting a check for $1,200 from the Federal government. That’s not a lot of bread if you live in a hot zone like New York or San Francisco or Los Angeles where rents tend to be in the thousands of dollars per month. It doesn’t go very far at all. But it does make me wonder if there are Trump-branded gladiatorial fights in the offing. Maybe this unique form of entertainment will make a comeback now that we’ve resurrected mass bribery of the citizenry as a cover for horrific mismanagement. It’s basically just reality TV and MMA smashed together. I bet this would be a hit with his base. Does it matter if your athletes are socially distancing, if they’re going to wind up dead at the end anyway?
For the sake of clarification—because this is the internet we’re talking about here—I’m definitely not advocating for a return to gladiatorial combat. Nor do I have any inside information that you can attend a fight to the death in the basement of Mar-a-Lago, although I cannot think of a venue more likely to offer this sort of perk.
TODAY’S RECOMMENDATION: “Strike!” AKA “The Hairy Bird” (1998)
Today’s guest recommendation is from screenwriter Olivia Iannelli. A native of Southern California, she’s currently finishing her MFA in Brooklyn. You can reach her at opiannelli [at] gmail.com or you can follow her on Instagram at oliveinbk.
Ever heard of the movie All I Wanna Do? How about Strike! Or even, The Hairy Bird? No? Trick question, they’re all one movie! Still haven’t heard of it? Well, you’re not alone. For as long as I can remember I’ve beed a die hard fan of Sarah Kernochan’s 1998 boarding school girl bad behavior comedy All I Wanna Do (Originally dubbed by Kernochan as The Hairy Bird, and released in Canada and the UK as Strike!) Set in 1963 and loosely based on Kernochan’s own boarding school experiences, All I Wanna Do follows a group of teenage girls who learn budget cuts will force their all-girls prep school to merge with Slime Ball Central boys academy, AKA Saint Ambrose (emphasis on the bro).
The girls, organized in their secret club, the D.A.R (Daughters of the American Ravioli), decide to sabotage the coming merger to maintain the integrity of their school and ensure their own success. The film’s exploration of female education, harassment, and the courage to resist are relevant as ever, but this film manages to promote it’s incredibly honest and important feminist agenda while not taking itself too seriously (it’s not above the occasional group vomiting scene or a selection of amazing one liners, case in point: that was really uncalled for vagina!) It’s a sure fire treat to watch this film’s knockout cast—including Kirsten someone-give-her-a-major-industry-acting-award-already Dunst, Gabby Hoffman, Lynn Redgrave, and Heather Matarazzo—portray a network of female friends that challenge each other and have different goals and opinions, but whose character types are just standardized enough to yield an epic Animal House-esque “what they went on to do” end credits scene.
So why have you never heard of this gem of 90s girl power? This unapologetically charming, raunchy, and smart comedy is widely unknown, thanks in large part to recently incarcerated waste of oxygen Harvey Weinstein, who did his best to bury the film at Miramax because of its feminist leanings (hence the multiple titles and practically non-existent theatrical release). After opening on a measly 133 screens across the US, All I Wanna Do found some love on the VHS shelves (where yours truly first discovered it at a local video store in Sun Valley Idaho while on a family vacation), but never managed to take off. In recent years, the film has popped back up with special screenings and some online attention from bloggers rediscovering it in their adulthood. But whether you’re coming to this film for the first time or taking a trip down memory lane, one thing is for sure, it’s a damn good way to spend an evening at home.
Grab yourself a quarantini and cue up All I Wanna Do on Amazon Prime or iTunes.
P.S. Hey COVID-19! Up your ziggy with a wawa brush!
— Olivia Iannelli
READING LIST:
Do you know the word “Triscuit” traces its origins back to the 19th century? And that it stands for “ELECTRIC BISCUIT”?! These crackers were pretty high tech back in the day.
Looking for some gallows humor? Today’s as good as any other to re-read Dr. Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal.”
While this photo essay in the Times about a hospital dealing with coronavirus in New York is a bit of an intense read, I actually found it rather reassuring in that it also captures some quintessentially New York moments. As my better half, ever the social worker, is fond of reminding me: Mr. Rogers always said when things seemed bad to “look for the helpers.”